Escape Enough
by TolkienScholar
Summary: Odin, his wife, and his sons have come to pay their respects to the new queen of Arendelle. Elsa has no patience for the elder Asgardian prince, who is rather too obviously impressed with her beauty, but there is something in the younger that she recognizes, something she knows all too well...
1. Escape Enough

**Author's Note: I do not own Loki, Elsa, or their respective movies. Try telling that to my imagination, though...**

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><p>"It is, indeed, an honor… to be able to witness your coronation, my lady." The mighty Asgardian prince raised Elsa's hand to his lips and kissed it delicately. He let his lips linger on her hand, though he was touching only cloth.<p>

Elsa willed her hand to be still, willed the power to stay inside and not blast him away from her. This was absurd. _Don't feel. Don't feel. Don't feel._ She smiled serenely as he stepped back. "As I am honored by your presence, Thor Odinson. Welcome to Arendelle." _Valhalla, why did he have to smile at her like that? If he only knew what a slip of her hand could do to him…_

"Thank you, Queen Elsa," Odin the Allfather said with a nod. "You are most gracious."

Elsa inclined your head. _Don't thank me. Make your son stop looking at me._

"Loki!"

The smaller and paler of the two princes slowly turned his gaze from the window. "Yes, Father?"

Odin's white brow lowered. "Pay your respects to the queen at once," he barked. Frigga laid a calming hand on his arm, but Odin's expression did not change.

Something flickered across Loki's face, there and gone in an instant, and his head jerked in a stiff nod. "My apologies." He took Elsa's hand and bowed over it as his brother had done. His hand was cold. "Congratulations, my lady," he said. The kiss he laid on her hand rigid but mercifully quick, and as soon as it was done he let his arm fall. He stepped back, his eyes already wandering again.

Odin frowned, and Elsa send that an apology was forthcoming, as well as trouble for Loki later on. She cringed internally. _Don't punish him on my account. It's so much better this way._

Before the apology could even begin, though, Thor reclaimed her attention. "My lady, would you do me the kindness… of dancing with me?" He was bowing and smiling again, waiting.

_ You have no idea what you're asking._ Elsa glanced at Anna, who was caught up in conversation with an older couple. She hated to use her sister as an excuse again, but she could not dance. Too much movement, too much risk—and too much time with that obsequious, big-headed mountain of muscle. "I'm sorry, I don't dance. But my sister does."

Anna turned her head. "What?"

Elsa gestured helplessly at Thor as the big man turned and offered Anna his hand. "Your Highness, would you give me the pleasure?"

"Oh!" Anna said. She glanced at Elsa. "Um, sure. I mean, I guess that's all right." She hurriedly excused herself to the couple and stepped towards Thor, obviously unsure how to take his upraised hand. She finally settled for grabbing it, as a baby grabs onto an adult's finger. Elsa covered her mouth to hide her smile as Thor made a smooth recovery and led Anna onto the floor.

"We will take up no more of Your Majesty's time," Odin said with a bow. "Congratulations."

"Thank you." Elsa watched them walk away, Loki trailing distractedly behind.

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><p>Elsa sighed with relief—silently. The hardest part, the congratulations, was over. They had all done their duty, and she had done hers. Now she had only to stand to the side and talk to a few people from time to time, until the gates finally closed and she was safe. <em>You can do this. Conceal. Don't feel. Don't let it show.<em>

Thor was coming her way. He had another woman on his arm now—Anna had disappeared in a huff some time ago—and she didn't think he would bother her again, but she turned away all the same. _No point in inviting trouble._

She found herself looking straight into the face of Loki. He didn't see her. He was looking right past her, staring at nothing. Elsa caught her breath. She knew the look on his face…

_Lost._ He looked lost. Lost and scared.

"Are you okay?" The words were out before she could stop them.

At first she thought he hadn't heard. It was a long time before his eyes came back from the nothingness to rest on her face, and even then he did not answer. He only looked at her, his eyes searching her face. Now that he was looking at her, he seemed to see everything—to see too much. Elsa felt frightened._ Conceal. He can't see anything if you don't let it show._

Then he said, "No more than you are, Your Majesty."

Elsa gasped and took a step back, clutching one gloved hand in the other. "How can you possibly know that?" she whispered.

Loki smiled for the first time. "The same way you do." He held out his hand, and before Elsa knew what she was doing, she had taken it. He led her onto the dance floor. His hands were still cold.

"I thought you didn't dance, my lady," Loki said after a moment. The smile turned mischievous.

Elsa's cheeks flushed. "I don't. Didn't. I—"

"Never mind. I wouldn't want to dance with my brother either."

She blushed darker still. "It's not that."

"Of course it is. He's a shameless flirt, and I'm glad someone had the good sense to see through him. He ought to experience rejection once in a while."

"Your brother is a gentleman, I'm sure," Elsa murmured uncomfortably.

"Gentleman?" Loki laughed. "If Thor is a gentleman, then I pity all ladies." He twirled her, and for a moment Elsa was certain that the ice would go spinning from her outstretched hand. Somehow, miraculously, nothing happened. Loki brought her back in and added, "I didn't ask you to dance so we could talk about Thor."

_ Why had he asked her, anyway?_

Loki didn't speak again for a long time, and she didn't try to talk either. She had to focus. She had to keep the power in. Again and again she told herself, _Conceal. Don't feel. Don't let it show._ Only once, her mantra was broken by a single thought: _This is nice._ She hadn't touched anyone for this long in years. But the thought lasted only a moment. _Conceal. Don't feel._

She did notice that Loki was slowly but steadily steering her to the edge of the dance floor, toward a glass door opening onto a balcony. It took her only a moment to decide to let him. There was something in her that wanted to hear what he had to say. He was so subtle that she scarcely knew how they got out of the ballroom and onto the balcony, but all at once the air was cooler and cleaner, and there were stars overhead. The door closed behind them, bringing the noise of conversation down to a dull hum. They were alone.

"Why did you bring me here?" Elsa asked. It was not an accusation, only a question.

"Because you and I would both rather be out here than in there." Loki took a seat on the railing, and she followed, leaving a good space between them. There was a long silence.

"So we're neither one all right," Elsa said at last. "So what? Most people aren't in one way or another."

"True," Loki agreed. Elsa waited. He did not continue.

Then she saw it. He was holding something in his right hand, a swatch of familiar light blue cloth. _No. Valkyrie, no._ She looked down, afraid of what she would see. Her left hand was bare. Somehow he had slipped her glove off when he had let go of her hand. Elsa looked up, her mind swirling with anger and fear. "Loki," she said in a slow, closely-controlled voice. "Give me back my glove."

He was motionless as a statue. "Why?" A smile played around the corners of his mouth, but his eyes were intense. He was searching her again.

_ Conceal! Don't feel! Don't let him know!_ The chant had become a scream inside her head. She was desperately clutching a fold of her dress, and the cloth was already beginning to freeze. Ice was creeping slowly down her dress; he would notice soon if he had not already.

"Loki, _please_."

Loki merely raised his eyebrows.

The ice had reached the hem of her dress. It would spread out onto the floor next. He would slip when he got up, he would wonder how the ice got there, he would see her dress, and then he would know. And soon, everyone would know.

Suppressing a cry, Elsa thrust herself off the railing and walked to the opposite side of the little balcony, as far away from him as she could get. She stood there hugging herself, trying to cover her bare hand and hoping he wouldn't notice the tiny snowflakes hovering in the air around her. _How could I have let this happen?_ her mind screamed. _How did I let him corner me like this? There's no escape. No escape…_

"Queen Elsa?"

She felt a hand on her shoulder. "Don't touch me!" she cried.

"Queen Elsa, look at me."

The voice was gentle. Too gentle for a man who was being so cruel. "No! Just—just give me my glove."

"Elsa, _look_ at me."

Hands grabbed her shoulders and spun her around. Elsa lowered her head and huddled into herself, but a hand came under her chin and forced her head up. She was facing a pair of red eyes, staring back at her out of an iron-grey face covered with strange designs. Elsa caught her breath. _A jötunn._

"Don't scream. You mustn't be afraid of me."

It was Loki's voice.

"I'm no monster, Elsa. I'm just another outcast. I'm just like you."

Elsa closed her eyes, fighting down panic. The jötnar were the stuff of nightmares, of horror stories or fables that adults told children to make them behave. She had never dreamed she would see one standing before her, speaking with a voice she knew, pleading with her to give him a chance, begging her to understand.

The hands released her shoulders, and Elsa heard a sigh. She forced herself to look at him again.

"This is my secret," Loki said. "This is what eats at me every moment of every day. I don't understand, Elsa. I don't know why. I always believed I was Loki, son of Odin the Allfather. And then… I learned this. Now I don't know who I am, or where I came from, or how I came to be here. All I know is that I am a beast, hated and feared by all." He was panting, staring down at his stony hands as though they belonged to someone else.

"I don't hate you," Elsa whispered. "And I don't fear you." She reached out and touched his hands. Ice flashed from her fingertips. She snatched back her hand with a cry, but Loki seized it and pulled it back. An icy halo formed around their joined hands.

"You can't hurt me. I, too, am a creature of ice." Loki smiled at her. "So this is your secret."

Elsa sighed, relief and joy and sadness and peace all escaping in one frosty breath. They looked at each other for a long moment, simply enjoying not being alone in their secrets any longer.

"Now give me my glove."

Loki's face fell, but he nodded and handed it over, his skin fading back from grey-blue to pale. "Yes, my lady." He stepped to the door and laid his hand on the knob.

"Wait," Elsa said suddenly. "Let me breathe free a moment longer."

Loki shook his head. "You and I never can be free. There's no escape from the storm inside."

"No," Elsa said softly. "But to have someone understand is escape enough."


	2. Now They Know

**Author's Note: Well, friends, I have decided to bow to your gracious requests for continuation and to my own desire to write more about my OTP. I have heavily revised _and expanded_ the first chapter, so I would request that you go back and read that chapter before reading this one. Thank you for your interest! As a side note, if there is anyone who liked the original oneshot as it was, I did save it, and I can upload it as a separate story if you like. I will only do it upon request, though. Namarië.**

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><p><em>Escape enough?<em> For her, maybe. She had a kingdom to rule when she went back out there. She had power. He was only the unwanted disappointment of a second son—no, not a son. Not even that. The connection he had felt between them, so strong a moment ago, seemed suddenly to melt away into the night. Loki jerked the door handle, reopening the portal to the real world, and gestured through it. "Your subjects await," he said bitterly.

Elsa frowned and tossed him an enigmatic glance as she passed through the door.

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><p>Elsa moved away from Loki without looking back. Something—she wasn't sure what—had changed in those last few seconds. They had been on the same page, and then suddenly they were worlds apart. The escape had lasted only a moment; now the understanding was gone.<p>

_Oh, well._ He was one person, one person who honestly didn't matter very much. He wasn't one of her subjects; when the party was over, he would leave, and she would probably never see him again. Whatever they had shared could never have been other than fleeting. There were more important people to worry about.

Like Anna. It had been a long time since she had stalked off. _She_ would never understand. She thought she could have sunshine and parties all the time just for the asking. _Well, let her sulk,_ Elsa told herself. She ignored the tiny voice inside her that said, _Sulking isn't like Anna._

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><p>The connection had disappeared, but still Loki couldn't stop watching her. She fascinated him. She was doing nothing: meeting and greeting, nodding and smiling—and all of it completely and entirely behind a mask. She was so like him. And yet, so different...<p>

_Oh, dear. Trouble._ Loki smiled.

The younger sister was coming, pulling Prince-Hans-the-whiny-thirteenth-son-of-the-Southern-Isles by the hand. He certainly hadn't wasted any time. Although why he should go after the younger sister—

_Oh._ That was why.

Loki had taken several steps forward before he caught himself. _He won't do anything right now, idiot,_ he mocked. Besides, Queen Elsa seemed quite capable of taking care of herself. Leaving an illusion to stand by his parents, Loki slipped, silent and invisible, to a place just behind Elsa. This was something not to be missed.

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><p>"Elsa!"<p>

Elsa turned. _Finally!_ Anna was coming back, and she definitely sounded like she was in a better mood. She was dragging a handsome young man; evidently she'd been having fun. _I just hope she hasn't been too forward—_

Anna pulled up short and dropped a curtsey. "I mean, um, Queen. Me again. Um…" Anna's voice turned dignified, or rather, adopted the stiff awkwardness that for her took the place of dignity. "May I present Prince Hans of the Southern Isles."

The prince bowed. "Your Majesty…" He glanced at Anna.

"We would like—" they said together. They looked at each other.

"Uh, your blessing—" Prince Hans continued while Anna laughed. They looked at each other again, and this time their faces were way too close. Alarm bells started sounding in Elsa's head.

"For our marriage!" Anna leaned her head on Hans' shoulder, and together they looked at her, silly smiles on their faces.

"Marriage?" Elsa asked. Anna answered with something between a giggle and a squeal. "I'm sorry; I'm confused." _Surely they couldn't be serious. Surely she couldn't mean it._

"Well, we haven't worked out all the details ourselves," Anna began. "We'll need a few days to plan the ceremony—of course, we'll have soup, roast, and ice cream—and then—" Anna gasped and grabbed Hans's arms. "Wait, would we live here?"

"Here?" Elsa interjected.

"Absolutely!" Hans said, taking Anna's hands.

"Anna!"

"Oh, we can invite all twelve of your brothers to stay with us!"

"What?" Elsa cried, throwing up her hands. "No! No, no, no, no…"

Anna gave her a sharp look. "Of _course_, we have the room—"

"Wait! Slow down!" Anna stopped suddenly. Elsa tried to keep her voice as calm and authoritative as possible. "No one's brothers are staying here. No one is getting married."

"Wait, what?" Anna finally let go of Hans and stepped toward her sister.

"May I talk to you please? Alone?" Elsa asked.

"No. What—whatever you have to say, you can say to both of us." Anna stepped back and took Hans's arm again. _Great. Now it's me against them._

Elsa sighed. "Fine. You can't marry a man you just met."

Anna frowned. "You can if it's true love."

"Anna, what do you know about true love?"

"Well, more than you!" Anna tossed back. "All you know is how to shut people out."

Elsa flinched. "You asked for my blessing, but my answer is no. Now, excuse me."

"Your Majesty," Hans cut in. "If I may ease your—"

"No, you may not, and I—I think you should go." Elsa walked away from them. _Conceal. Don't let—No. I can't. Not now._ Elsa shook her head. "The party is over. Close the gates."

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><p>Loki watched her walk away. This was not exactly how he had expected it to go. A sharp rebuttal of Prince-Hans-the-whiny-thirteenth-son-of-the-Southern-Isles, yes. An interesting sibling conflict, yes. The closing of the gates, no. Loki wasn't ready to leave just yet.<p>

"Elsa, no! No, wait!"

_Odin's eye, she wasn't going to let it drop._

Anna rushed forward and made a grab for Elsa. She missed, but she came away with—Elsa's left glove. _Oh, no._

Elsa turned, the same fear and terror in her eyes that he had seen on the balcony. "Give me my glove!" she cried, snatching at it. Anna pulled away.

_She didn't try to do that with me._

"Elsa, please! Please, I can't live like this anymore," Anna pleaded.

Elsa looked at her, and Loki knew without seeing it that there were tears in her eyes. "Then leave."

The sisters stood there, panting. Then Elsa's shoulders slumped and she turned away, misery and defeat in every line of her body. Anna stared after her.

"What did I ever do to you?"

"Enough, Anna."

"No, why? Why do you shut me out? Wh—why do you shut the world out? What are you so afraid of?"

"I said, 'Enough'!" Elsa spun around to face her sister, and as she did, a stream of ice flew from the fingers of her bare hand. The ice took root in the floor and grew outward, creating a sharp icy barrier several feet thick between her and the rest of the company. There were gasps and cries of astonishment and fear. Only Loki, in all of the crowd, was silent, marveling.

Elsa groped for the door with her gloved hand, clutching the hand that had betrayed her to her chest. Finding it, she flung it open and fled.


	3. No Answer

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

"Loki?"

Silence.

"I know you're in there, little brother."

Still no answer.

"Loki?" The sound of the doorknob jiggling uselessly. "Loki, you had better let me in."

Loki groaned and rolled over. "Break down the door."

"You know perfectly well I can."

Silence again.

"Loki, please. Mother and Father are worried about you."

"Then why didn't they come?"

"Would you have let them in?"

"No."

Silence again.

"You know, a room is a lot less private when it doesn't have a door."

No answer.

"Loki, if you don't let me in within the next five seconds, I promise you I will break this door down."

No answer.

"Have it your way, then."

"Try the knob again, blockhead."

There was a pause. Then the knob turned and Thor came in.

Loki was standing at the window, looking out at the sunset. It was magnificent, the strength, the vibrancy, the _power_ of its hues, the way one color flowed into another without seam or break, the way the clouds reflected the light and sometimes, like tonight, seemed to make a strange and mystical landscape. When he was small, Frigga used to tell him that on nights like this you got a glimpse into Valhalla. Loki knew now that it was only a folktale, but sometimes he would pretend to himself that he still believed it. _What would it be like to live in Jötunheimr, never seeing the sun?_

He felt Thor's strong hand on his shoulder. "Little brother?"

_But I'm not your brother._ It wasn't the first time he'd though it, but it still hurt. Far more than it should have.

"What?" Loki asked, still looking out the window.

"I don't know," Thor answered quietly. "Only you can answer that."

"There are some things you can't force open."

Thor let out a breath, too soft to be called a sigh. "I'm not going to try to force it. But you know it will help you, to talk."

Loki shook his head. "No. Not this time."

"Loki, don't shut me out. Please. I only want to help you."

Loki finally looked at him. "Can you not understand that you can't help me? This is different. It's not something going and bashing a few heads together will fix. And I don't want to talk about it." He turned and faced the window again.

"Okay," Thor said. "So it's not something I can fix. At least stop trying to bear it alone. Tell me what's wrong."

"No!" Loki laughed humorlessly. "So that's it. I'm too weak to bear my own problems; let the mighty Thor take it on his shoulders because he's so strong."

"Loki, you know that's not what I meant."

"No? What, then? Am I a frightened child, who still needs his big brother to protect him from his nightmares?"

"Loki, please—"

"When will you and Father get it into your thick skulls that I don't need to be mollycoddled, that I can stand on my own?" _That I deserve to know the truth about myself from my father's—Odin's—own mouth?_

"Leave Father out of this," Thor said, now beginning to get angry himself.

"Father's the center of it!" _Oh, no._ He had said too much.

Thor could usually be relied on to miss hints. He would fire back another angry phrase, and the hint would be past and gone. But Thor was quiet. Fear seized Loki, fear that he was thinking, working it out. Loki's mind raced. _How much would Thor be able to guess? How could he divert him from the truth?_

But all Thor said was, "Father and I love you, Loki."

Loki lowered his head. He had always doubted that Odin loved him, and now that he knew he was not Odin's son, he was certain. But Thor loved him. There was no question of that. And Thor's love made him blind.

"I know," Loki whispered. "But you have to let me deal with this on my own."

Thor sighed. "All right. But whenever you're ready to talk, little brother, I'll be here." He squeezed Loki's shoulder again and left.

Loki finally let the tears fall.


End file.
